


HABITS

by TheLostLibran



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Anal Sex, Angst and Feels, Bisexual James Sirius Potter, Broken Families, Clubbing, Crying, Denial of Feelings, Depression, Divorced Harry Potter & Ginny Weasley, First Love, Gay Albus Severus Potter, Gay Male Character, Gay Scorpius Malfoy, Harry Potter Epilogue Compliant, Harry Potter Next Generation, Healer Albus Severus Potter, Healing, Heartbreak, Heavy Angst, Hopeful Ending, Hurt Albus Severus Potter, Hurt No Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, Jealous Albus Severus Potter, M/M, Miscommunication, Misunderstandings, One Shot, Pining, Quidditch Player James Sirius Potter, Sex Addiction, Trans Male Character, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-05
Updated: 2020-08-05
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:01:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,821
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25729354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheLostLibran/pseuds/TheLostLibran
Summary: Habits make life easy, interesting and happy when it's sunshine and roses. Habits change when it rains. Habits become distractions, measures and necessities when it's a torrential, never ending storm.This is a story of Albus Potter's habits through the years.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley, One sided Albus Severus Potter/ Scorpius Malfoy, Scorpius Malfoy/James Sirius Potter
Comments: 20
Kudos: 57





	HABITS

**Author's Note:**

> I've somehow miraculously chosen to read fics recently that had more angst than promised or mentioned. I'll still be hungover them if I don't vomit those feelings out myself. Hence, the unhappy fic!
> 
> I posted it yesterday and deleted it for some reason. Now I'm sharing it again :)
> 
> This work is only for entertainment purposes. I do not own the characters nor do I make money from this work. Harry Potter and Co. belong to JK Rowling and WB.
> 
> WARNING: ANGST.
> 
> This has a sad ending and you've been warned twice.

Over the course of years, Albus Severus Potter developed certain habits. Not all of them were good, but they were all very much needed.

The change in him began on an unsuspecting autumn evening when he returned home for a short break from his healer training in Sweden. Maybe it shouldn’t have been a surprise visit, maybe it should have. Albus didn’t want to know and Albus will never know.

Grimmauld Place was empty, no sign of his father or siblings. He knew his mother was staying with her new beau and he had planned to pop over there after he dumped his luggage.

That had been his second mistake. He levitated his suitcase to his bedroom on the second floor and stopped short at the top of the stairs.

Voices loud and clear were coming from behind James’ door. It wasn’t anything new. James, the better looking of the Potter boys and the better Quidditch player, always brought someone home.

He supposed it was one of James’ habits, the one he acquired after his parents split, the one that intensified after their father got together with Draco Malfoy. James resisted change.

Therefore, it came as the biggest shock of his life to Albus that he heard two _male_ voices, both of which he was intimately familiar with. James, as far as he knew, wasn’t bi. Well, clearly, he didn’t know his brother until that moment.

He also didn’t know Scorpius fancied James like that. He didn’t know how long it had been going on and why he wasn’t informed by anyone. He didn’t know why Scorpius accepted that long kiss on his cheek before he left for Stockholm three months ago, or why Scorpius asked him to come back as quickly as possible.

There was a gasp.

‘Oh God, James! Fuck! Right there!’

There was a pant.

‘You are so tight, Merlin! And hot! No matter how many times this happens, I can’t get used to this feeling, oh my!’

There was a whine.

‘Faster! Harder! Please!’

There was a tear.

Albus was not the most knowledgeable. He was neither good looking nor an athlete. He still retained some of his childhood naivety. But he also knew he couldn’t stay there a moment longer.

The wards hadn’t been tripped and no one had seen him, not even Kreacher. Albus waved his trunk downstairs and made his way out of his house. He apparated to the Ministry, secured a Portkey and let it whisk him off back to Stockholm.

Everything was new- the view from his bedroom window, the furnishings in the flat, his neighbours, the small park adjacent to his apartment complex, and his house mate too. Unlike James, Albus didn’t resist change. He took the incident to be an eye opener and decided to adapt to it. That meant new habits as well.

He didn’t have casual drinks at the pub anymore. He didn’t apply for leaves anymore. He didn’t complain about extra work anymore. This habit was going on for two and a half years now.

He was always available wherever the Senior Healers found suitable to post him. If he wasn’t in Spell Damage, he was changing bandages in Emergency. If he wasn’t assisting with the MagiOrthopedics, he was catching up on things in the library. If he wasn’t in the Janus Thickey Ward trying to learn Mind Healing (and getting ousted because he didn’t opt for it), he was in his flat, flicking through channels as long as he ate and then promptly shutting the TV off to go to sleep.

This new routine kept him occupied, gave him better insights into conversing with his patients and helped catapult his already high grades.

When his apprenticeship was finished and he went home waving his certificate to Gale, his gay trans friend and roommate, Gale just stared at him with a blank face and then went about making dinner.

Albus sighed. A change in habits, behaviour and routine of a person apparently changed those around them too.

Gale was extraordinarily kind and intelligent and worked as an Unspeakable. Their friendship would have been as unlikely as it was accidental if Gale hadn't injured himself and landed in Stokcholm's care. He was tough as concrete mentally. It's how he tolerated all the insults and slurs against him. He was also no nonsense and gave as good as he got. In that instance, it had been his silence, because he was also uncommonly wise.

Albus knew what Gale wanted- for him to go back to London and see his parents, if not his brother and.. _friend? Best friend?_ Who was Scorpius to him now?

Brother-in-law, probably.

Last he heard from his father, he had said they were expecting good news soon. That had been three months ago.

It was really easy to ignore his calls, to not call back and to forget anyone called. It was easy to Incendio every letter he got from James or Scorpius. It was also easy to listen to his Aunt Hermione, Uncle Ron and his mum and dad pester him that he had become a workaholic and hadn’t seen his family or enjoyed life in London in almost three years.

They didn’t know he had been there for a fraction of an earth shattering second. They didn’t know he left them. They didn’t know he considered his life to now be in the white halls of Stockholm’s Care for Witches and Wizards.

He probably could call back or write back or send a Christmas card or visit them for a brief time. But that meant breaking his habits.

A really surprising thing about habits, Albus found, was that they were strangely resistant to change. It was difficult to develop them and even more so to break them.

Faceless men, nameless feelings. Forgotten encounters, remorseful trysts. Anger fuelled thrusts, pain filled cries. Wishful thinking, wistful ruminations.

Albus gained new habits as two more years passed. His schedule was now divided into weekdays and weekends. He stopped reading the Daily Prophet and Quibbler completely. He worked within his allotted time. He bought the flat he was renting after Gale moved in with his boyfriend.

His Floo was also open to Gale’s place because Gale told him, ‘I don’t trust you, Albus, not when it comes to yourself.’

He had always wondered if Gale knew. His suspicions were confirmed on that day. It wasn’t shocking that Gale understood even though Albus didn’t tell him about it. Gale was like that- quiet, intuitive, observant and correct.

Gale told him it was a wrong idea when he first started going out. Albus had simply said, ‘I’m aware,’ before shrugging on his jacket and taking off to indulge in his new habit.

It was quite an indulgence. He didn’t know there’d be so many willing to get fucked so regularly. Like he already said, it was his naivete.

Albus went to the same club, ordered the same drinks and waited at the same table. The only thing that changed was his appearance and the bloke that took his cock.

He wondered why, though. He didn’t remember anything about them come next morning, including that they had had sex. The scent from his clothes usually told him it had happened. So there was no need to change the guy but Albus didn’t fuck someone twice.

He knew one of them could catch that terrifying and possibly life threatening disease called feelings. He functioned better without it. He was allergic to it.

Two mistakes had already cost him a lot and if he lost what was remaining he might die.

So Albus kept his eyes closed and grabbed the pale hips hard as he rammed into the guy in front of him. The masculine body produced lust and their movements together produced heat. His cock produced the friction and his gritted teeth and rough fingernails produced the pain. It was all heady sensations and hateful pleasure.

Sometimes, when Albus felt too empty, he offered to get fucked. The day the wedding invitations arrived, he took three cocks up his arse, continuously for two days. Gale had found him in the club’s back rooms and hauled him home with a sturdy grip on his biceps and an unforgiving stare in his eyes.

That was a rare deviation from his usual habit. It was the only thing that kept him sane.

The following winter, he entered his flat to find his father and Draco Malfoy sitting on the couch. Gale stood in a corner of the room, his gaze unrepentant.

Albus raised his brows but said nothing. He took off his robes, dropped his bag on a side table and changed into cleaner clothes.

Tea was hot and ready on the coffee table and Albus poured himself some as he settled in his armchair.

‘Gale let us in,’ Harry said unnecessarily.

‘Hi to you too, Dad,’ Albus replied, his tone just this side of bitter.

Harry sighed and leaned back. ‘You do realise you don’t have any right to call me out on not greeting you? You’ve been MIA since you were seventeen, Albus. I haven’t seen my son in four years. He doesn’t pick up his calls or answer his letters!’

‘Harry,’ Draco warned gently, placing his hand over Harry’s.

Albus looked between both of them. He was happy for his father, Draco was a better partner than his Mum had been. He was happy to see him in person. It had been four years for him too.

‘And yet, it was today that brought you here.’ Albus sipped his tea and continued. ‘What happened?’

He didn’t think his Dad would seek him out for any other reason than wanting his help. He was right.

Draco answered because Harry started choking on his tears. ‘James fell off his broom during their game with Portree yesterday. He cracked his ribs and one of them punctured his lungs and liver. They are considering a transplant.’

Albus might have regarded his father carefully while Gale regarded him back. But there was no doubt in his mind about the answer.

At St.Mungos, he was engulfed in hugs. Tears were spilled and visible relief was noted. Albus was relieved that Gale and his boyfriend Marco insisted on accompanying him.

He requested to be on the team treating James so he could take his own look at the case. He suspected that was what his father really wanted.

Traumatic blunt injury and punctured right lobe of liver. The arteries weren't damaged and initial hemorrhage had been stabilised. James was on potions stabilising his body and a charm preventing sepsis and damage from spreading over the entire liver.

He knew a transplant would mean the end of James' Quidditch career. He also knew his duty came first, before his feelings. It was another habit. He had cured many people he hated because nothing was above Healing. 

His colleagues Jen and Brad arrived via Emergency Floo within half an hour. The three of them had been working on enhancements to abdominal surgeries concerning critical organs for over three years now- after Albus' first failure which no one but him blamed him for.

Senior Healer Johnson listened patiently as they explained their methods. It was already being put into practice in Sweden and was quickly approved.

The surgery took fourteen hours. Instead of a transplant, the team of healers cast Albus' spell and employed his technique that accelerated regeneration. Three days later, James was removed from intensive care.

Gale and Marco stayed with him while Jen and Brad left after the surgery was successful. Harry and the others were waiting for James to regain consciousness and Draco found him on a quiet balcony.

Albus sipped his tea without acknowledging Draco's presence. There was no need to speak when certain things were better left unsaid.

'Leave after he wakes up,' Draco said at last.

Albus didn't think it needed a response. He couldn't and he wouldn't and everyone knew that.

'It wasn't easy for either of them when they realised,' Draco said again.

Albus restrained his snort. He was not simple enough to think Harry and the others didn't know why he absconded.

But he couldn't control the words that begged to be out of his mouth. He was no Seer but he had already predicted in his head that this would happen, that they'd feel bad.

'Don't try, Mr.Malfoy,' he said quietly before turning away.

Scorpius was leaning against the other side of the wall. As Albus exited the balcony, he said, ‘I’m sorry.’

‘No, you are not,’ Albus replied without looking at him. Scorpius and James were sorry for hurting him. He didn’t think either of them knew of his feelings. It was also his fault for never explicitly vocalising them. But couldn’t they guess? His gestures had been more than obvious and didn’t actions speak louder than words?

They were sorry for hurting him, not for being together. Albus irrationally wanted an apology for the latter. He swallowed his resentment, let silence take over the conversation and waited. Scorpius looked like there was more he wanted to say.

'Will you be there for the wedding?'

Albus gave him a sideway glance and sighed. 'We are too old to be playing happy families.'

Scorpius bristled at that. Albus didn't know why. If anything, he had a reason to be furious. What answer did Scorp expect for that question?

'Life is too short to hold grudges or wallow in sorrow.'

Patience was another habit Albus acquired. It came with his profession of course, but Albus had put in real efforts to not lose temper.

'But it's long enough to kill you with pain.'

Scorpius was taken aback.

'Slowly,' Albus added before shoving his hands in his pockets. 'Be kind for the last time and don't send me any pictures so that I'd "move on".'

Scorpius and Albus looked at each other for a long time.

'He's right,' Gale said, appearing at Albus' elbow. 'I'll curse any photo to that effect and mail it back to the sender, even if it's his dad.'

Marco steered them with his hands on their shoulders to the elevator in the opposite corner just as a mediwitch informed the group waiting outside that James was awake.

Everyone rushed in. Everyone except Scorpius who stood at the opposite end of the corridor staring after Albus.

Albus tipped his head in a goodbye before walking away.

Over the years, Albus Severus Potter developed certain habits. None of them were good, but all of them, fucking essential.

Days after his last trip to London, Albus was a mess. His heart was no longer empty. It was flooded with every emotion he didn't feel since he was seventeen.

There was anger and grief. There was betrayal and incomprehension. There was disappointment and fear. There was depression and discontent.

When they all ran their course in him, there was only heartbreak remaining.

This change brought with it a set of new habits again. Albus didn't drink or visit clubs anymore. He didn't overwork himself either.

There was a strange calmness to his monotony. He woke up, went to Stockholm's care, returned at 6 and slept at 10. Every Sunday, he met his Mind Healer.

The calmness was from his acceptance of the situation, according to her. Albus didn't think so.

He had accepted the situation long ago. It's why he removed himself from their lives before heaven came crashing down because Albus couldn't control his emotions in front of them.

His Mind Healer had simply smiled when he told her that.

Another habit was feeding his Kneazle and playing with him. Marco had got him Alex last Christmas and invited him to go with them to Italy. Gale had looked at him like he had to say yes or else.

The small town in Italy had a quiet life surrounding it. It had healing effects on Albus' pride and wound. Albus bought a cottage a short distance away from Gale and Marco's.

Other habits were fortnightly fishing afternoons, Sunday brunches together and cool evenings spent in his garden.

He was not over it. He would never be over it. But over the years, he got habituated to it. To both the truth and the pain.

His last habit was survival. Going on with life against the odds, crying when he wanted to, trying to laugh genuinely, eating and sleeping well. It was all survival- the most needed habit out of all.

Marco once asked him if he forgave yet. He didn't specify if he was asking about Albus himself or James and Scorpius, so Albus didn't reply.

Harry, Draco and Lily visited Albus once in six months for a week. Ginny, Ron, Hermione, Rose and Hugo sometimes accompanied them. Gale told him James and Scorpius also wanted to. Albus remained silent.

Because forgiveness and hope weren't his habits yet.

**Author's Note:**

> I've never tried the minimalist style before and have always been impressed with its simplistic brilliance. I didn't think I could do it, but I guess I did. (Yes, I know, grief can fuel anything).
> 
> Sorry for making you cry.
> 
> On the upside though, I feel real good and normal without the angst in this chapter.


End file.
